Has anyone read the book when God becomes a Drug by Leo
Booth.
I read it back when I first started to wake up in 08 and am
now just rereading it. To me it is just amazing how much it parallels JW’s
well any religion that people abuse.
Like on page 84 he says “The too-bright, falsely cheerful
expression is also a mask. Underneath it seethe tension, anger, and rigid
control. God’s children are supposed to be happy; that’s the fantasy, the
illusion. Don’t let anyone know that you’re not happy, for admitting not being
happy in the Lord is to admit imperfection, failure, not doing it right. Such
an admission courts disapproval, so you paste on your false smile.”
How many time in field service I was so miserable and depressed
I could not stand it but I would never say it out loud. In fact I even made comments at the meeting that you never
have a bad day doing Jehovah’s work. I said those words because I was trying so
hard to make myself believe them.
On page 85 he says “You have reached rock bottom. You hate
yourself and may not even know why. Or, if you recognize that you are
hopelessly addicted to your religion or belief system, you don’t know where to turn
for help. You can’t stop the meditating, praying, incense-burning, crusades,
and obsessive scripture quoting. Your family does not know what to do. You’ve
tithed away you savings: maybe you are nearing bankruptcy. Certainly you are spiritually
bankrupt-you can’t sleep: your head aches; your stomach is in knots; you’re so
depressed you can barely function. You may have a nervous breakdown. Perhaps you
may enter treatment for another addiction-thinking your eating disorder, alcoholism,
or fits of rage are causing your problems.”
I was just like that where I could not sleep, still at times
I can’t we were near bankruptcy because of pioneering but I was not allowed to
voice it because as my husband told me I just needed more faith. Jehovah would
pick it up if I just gave it to him but I kept on working and I did not give it
to Jehovah so that was why Jehovah was not helping us. I needed to stop working
and throw it all at Jehovah. I thought of suicide all the time while out in service.
And mostly I blamed myself for being so
horrible.
On page 30-31 he says “For thousands of years, humans beings
have been accustomed to living under an authoritarian theocracy in which the
few, the chosen, and the called control the many. This divinely appointed power
group claims not only to speak for God but insists that it is also the only way
to God. – This power group can manipulate scripture to create doctrines and
dogma designed to keep people in submission, fearful of error. They make the
rules and say the rules are God’s, so that questioning the teachers or
teachings equals questioning God.” Does that not scream what the GB have been telling us.
Leo Booth also speaks of “the lack of education among the
lower classes.” It just makes me think that is why the GB does not want us to
go to college. They do not want us to be educated. They only want us to read
the WT, Awake, and their publications. Not to think for ourselves.
On page 77-78 He gets into black and white thinking he says “Many
religious addicts, become of narrow and restrictive beliefs, often have
conflicts with medicine and education. Those two disciplines challenge
black-and-white thinking, the need for simplistic solutions, and the inability
to think and question. Frequently we read about parents who refuse to give
permission for a doctor to perform an operation or administer a blood
transfusion because of their belief in a certain faith. Some of these faiths
manipulate scripture to justify their dogma. For instance, some cite Acts 15:29
as the basis for refusing transfusions: “That you abstain for what has been
sacrificed to idols and from what is strangled, and from unchastely.” – Those verses
refer specifically to the Jewish ritual concerning preparation of meat, which
is part of the Jewish Orthodox tradition and called keeping kosher. Much of the
early Christian teaching was devoted to moving people away for Jewish tradition
in order to distinguish Christianity as a separate religion rather than a sect
of Judaism. Yet certain religions have twisted these verses to legitimize their
stance against medicine or whatever it is they oppose.”
This book has just hit home with me so much. I know I totally
enabled my husband, by sitting in the car for hours while he was in elders
meeting. Crawling on my hands and knees in my own home because we were
forbidden to go to the police over a matter. Living so poor because of
pioneering. On and on. No wonder I was so depressed my whole life.
The religion of Jehovah’s witnesses sets a person up to fail
if you truly believe it and try to do what you are told you must to live
forever.
I look back at my life and just feel like I have wasted it.
Maybe this is not a good book for me after all as I feel like I have blown the
gift of life, my life.
LITS
